Masters of Death
by Olivie Blake
“Do you need a book in your life with bored immortals, personal training demons, vampires in denial, and the actual godson of Death? If yes, you’re in the right place. ”
Meter Ratings
〰️
Meter Ratings 〰️
Cozy Meter: 3/5
Spicy Meter: 1/5
Epic Meter: 2/5
Ew Meter: 0/5
Re-Readability Meter: 3/5
Feelings Meter: 3/5
Overall Book Vibes:
Good
Trigger Warnings:
alcohol consumption, murder, torture, loss of autonomy, body horror
Summary
〰️
Summary 〰️
Viola (Vi) is a rather…unconventional vampire, who works in real estate and really just wants to get on with her ‘life.’ Unfortunately, the house she currently needs to sell is occupied by a rather annoying ghost.
Meanwhile, Fox D’mora is in another part of town making a living as a somewhat fraudulent Medium. He can’t communicate with ghosts, but luckily for business, his godfather, Death, can.
When Vi becomes fed up with her ghost issue, she enlists Fox to help her get rid of him. Unfortunately, they need Death to do that, and Death is suddenly nowhere to be found.
Vi and Fox find themselves on a quest with a curious cast of characters to find Death, solve our aforementioned ghost’s murder, and FINALLY get the house off the market. But, in order to do so, they have to travel to the mysterious and elusive immortal’s game.
Naturally, hijinks ensue.
My Review
〰️
My Review 〰️
I rather enjoyed this book but, I have to warn you, it is an acquired taste.
I first read it as an audiobook (if you say ‘nO yOu LiStEnEd To It’ please for the love of everything we hold dear in this world go punch yourself in the face) and, truthfully, found myself drifting off. Reading the physical copy made it much easier to follow along with all of the time jumps, parenthesis, and humor.
In my opinion, the concepts laid out in this book are amazing. A vampire who is actually an ashwang? Love. A ghost trying to solve the mystery of his own murder? Right up my alley. Writing the character of Death as a sort of hapless father figure? Come ON. I grew up reading Terry Pratchett, and that trope will always be a 10/10 for me.
I found the story to be just the right amount of silly paired with very serious themes, such as what love requires, how to forgive, and how we would spend our time if we could live forever. It was a refreshing storyline.
The characters, also, were gold. And it surprised me that they were all pretty well fleshed out, despite there being so many. They got their own distinctive personalities and character growth arcs, and the way they relate to each other brings me joy. Tom and Vi’s bickering made me chuckle. Fox and Brandt broke my heart. Fox and Death warmed said heart. And Mayra and Cal…well, awwww.
My favorite character, of course, is Isis. But she’s a personal trainer, so you can’t really blame me for that.
The emotions in this book are well-written. The focus on the little details when it comes to the characters made me feel like I was somehow in the books’ inner circle. And the humor, both in the narration and from the banter, made this a fun read.
The story does, however, take a while to get into. A big part of the narrative bounces around in time, and the narrator often interrupts in parenthesis. The vagueness surrounding both the narrator and The Game persists almost to the end, which some of our fantasy/fitness book clubbers found to be frustrating. There is not a ton of action in the first couple hundred pages either, so that’s something to keep in mind. Personally, I found the wrap-up to the central plot to be a little too quick and convenient as well.
But, overall, I found this to be a really fun tale of love, family, adventure, and coming to terms with turning into a cat at night. The humor was on point, the rules of the immortals made for interesting world-building, and the entire tale really got me thinking about what it means to live life to the fullest.
Overall Rating on my shelf: 4/5
Favorite Quotes
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Favorite Quotes 〰️
“It’s a generally accepted philosophy that there’s no finishing college when one has eaten any portion of one’s research advisor…”
“A person living in a city tends to learn the different kinds of knocks and the distinct oddness of hearing them. After all, with seven grocery stores and corner markets existing within a stone’s throw, it’s hardly a common impulse to turn to one’s neighbor for a cup of sugar – particularly when one cannot help being aware, thin walls be damned, that one’s neighbor was unapologetically playing saccharine alt-pop ballads until three in the morning, and therefore probably isn’t away at 8 AM.”
“To glimpse what a person’s heart beats for, though, is to understand who they are.”
“Because maybe, Fox thought with a sudden thunderclap of clarity, maybe it was a choice. To love, to forgive, to lose, to live – it was always a choice, and thus, the face that he was a mortal was finally one worth celebrating…To live, to love; it was always a choice, and inherently a brave one, to face down certain doom with open arms.”
The Workout
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The Workout 〰️
The Warmup
(aka we’re dealing with death so we MUST warm up with the dead things
1x Through
Squat Calf Raises - 10
Wall Angels - 10 per side
Reverse Lunges - 5 per side
Jumping Jacks - 30 seconds
Corpse Pose - 40 seconds
Open Books - 5 per side
Deadbugs - 8 per side
Spider Lunge Twists - 5 per side
Strength
Do one set of moves right after the other, then repeat the entire thing 3x
8 per side Spider Planks (we ready to army crawl out any convo with the angels, that’s for sure)
8 per side Reverse Lunge Knee Raises (THE CROTCH, DAMNIT)
6-8 Plyo Pushups (pushing away annoying immortals is a full-time job)
Wall Sit for 30 seconds (BUILD UP THAT MENTAL RESILIENCE FOR THE GAME)
8 per side Offset Deadlift to Balance Step (kick them mouthy immortals in the CROTCH)
8-10 Band Pulls (just pull Brandt to you, already! We know you wanna.)
Accessory
We need core strength to partake in all the banter..
2x Through
Twists - 10 per side (pretend Isis is telling you to do em)
Forearm Plank - 30 seconds (the mental resilience needed for planks rivals what is needed for the game)
Penguins (shimmy shimmy)
Cooldown (we won the game, and now we chill)
Head Turns - 20 seconds
Cat Cow - 30 seconds
Childs Pose - 30 seconds
Cross Crawls - 20 seconds
S Arms - 5 per side
Half Kneel Twists - 20 seconds per side
